So let's start with the cliché. It’s very tough to come to terms with bad marks when you’ve been a topper throughout while growing up. And I didn’t just get bad marks: I failed. And things could never just improve afterwards: 11th,12th and then the fateful Engineering.

Mind you, I scored 80% in 12th which, in 2008, was still a pretty decent score. But it wasn't enough. I had to wait 2 days before my parents spoke to me. Expectations make you sensitive and mercurial. I learnt it the very hard way. But the worst was yet to come. 4 years of engineering started with a sense of freedom, as I had taken admission in an engineering college in Indore. But the charm of that faded briskly and, in a month of starting, I was restless and wanted to go back home.

The food was miserable and the discipline with which I was brought up felt archaic and totally unwanted. I changed my hostel frequently, fought with my father a lot, so much so that we didn’t talk for almost 6 months. Wait, I feel like I am making him sound awful, but he was just being a father. What makes my Engineering not so-cliched is that I tried to commit suicide when I was in the 2nd year.

An incident never changes your life. There is always a chain of events that happen, and they build up and lead up to that 'event'. You have that epiphany and you get that perspective about life; which otherwise would’ve taken you years. It’s when you decide to do. To act. To be happy. That is what I did.

But first, the failed suicide attempt.

I was in the flat which I was sharing when I saw a box of medicines. All kinds of pills. (I’m off them now though).

I could see all my problems going away. I could see peace, the white light. It meant the end of my suffering. I opened the box, took a handful of them and just gulped. Then another handful. I don't even remember how many I took but they were a lot and I just fell. I don’t remember much afterwards, but I was taken to a hospital and fortunately survived.

Nothing much changed even after that as well, to be honest. But my father understood the fear of losing me.

Robert Downey Jr. battled drug abuse and alcoholism throughout his youth but somehow managed to get over them to become the highest paid actor in the world. He was asked how he got over the drugs and alcohol, and he answered it in a matter of fact way. He said that it’s very easy to do something, be it good or bad. The hard thing is to decide that you want to. And when you want to, you just do.

I don’t exactly remember when I decided for myself, but I decided that I’d be happy. I’d be happy in the good times and the bad times. But it doesn't mean I’d shun the other emotions.

No, it meant that I’d face them with a smile.  It doesn't mean I’d not cry but I will emerge stronger after wiping off my tears.

I’d be wittier, funnier and livelier than ever. And that has been my story ever since. I am successful in ways that make a lot of people envious.

And if you’ve been with me till now, I need your utmost focus now.

I have a passion as well, which I think means more than any job or designation. I am crazy about films. I eat, drink, sleep and live films. They made me write again and helped me get wise enough to write poetry. Films make me smile and they make me happy. I have learnt to never ever give up on life or people, most importantly the people who make you smile. Never ever.

I am still trying to muster the courage to follow my dreams. I don't know how I am going to do it but I am not ready to give up.

To be continued……

P.S: I turned my life around. To see how you can find Prashant Dangi on Facebook and Instagram.